Interesting Spam

For the longest time I’ve been running a few blogs without making use of the Akismet WordPress plugin. For those who don’t know any time you run a blog or website as you start getting more and more popular the spam bots start hitting you more and more. They search for websites that have forms and auto fill these forms with links and keywords in hopes that a few of them might go through and bump up their ranking albeit temporarily.

Does this work? This link of a misspelled spam message proves it does somewhat. But realize in order to get those three thousand links on Google they probably had to send out three million.

So today I install Akismet on my last blog but before I close the doors on spam I’d like to share with you a few spam messages that caught my eye so to speak. These were a little harder to decipher as spam. Some sound more like fortune cookies.

  • Last week at Fry’s, littlestar and I played a bit of Guitar Hero 2 that they had out for demo purposes. While it did take some time to get used to the controls, we eventually got it, and it was alot of fun. Garage Geeks has built the a rel “nofollow… (the a rel “nofollow part is a link which was stripped out at some point.)
  • I can not agree with you in 100% regarding some thoughts, but you got good point of view…
  • Extremely interesting post. A little bit different from my point of view but neverless an interesting opinion….
  • Very interesting post. A little bit confusing, but it still ok Hm….
  • Every time I visit this website I loose my assurance that everything written here is real. But even if it’s not true, I keep on visiting it because it’s interesting. There are many posts which you can’t find anywhere else.
  • Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens….
  • Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world….

It was fun moderating you spam. I’ll miss you.

Checklist for the Expecting Father

“Are you all ready for the pregnancy?” My boss asked.

“Sure, we have her clothes packed and the phone list ready…” I replied.

“No,” he cut me off, “are YOU ready for the pregnancy?”

He then went on with a list of things I personally never thought about. While the misses was going to have her day set, I would be sitting around either bored or playing helper. I thought I’d share some tips from my recent experience.

Food
Your going to be gone for at least 24 hours. You’ll probably be able to sneak away to the nearest grease joint, but who knows what the timing is going to be. My boss recommends cheese and crackers. I preferred cookies and chips.

Money
Of the loose kind. Grab a roll of quarters in advance to feed to the magic food dispensers. Your hospital will most likely have these conveniently located 19 floors and 7 closets away from where you’re at.

Pillow and Blanket
I recommend doing what I did and upon getting there immediately sleep if the misses is inducing. You’ll be able to catch a couple of hours before the storm hits. Catch as much sleep as you can without pissing off the misses. You probably won’t sleep much that first night as the baby will be crying throughout the night.

Clothing and Personal Hygiene
24 hours. So you’ll need your pit stick, a toothbrush and paste, and maybe a spare T-shirt. That would have came in handy as the first thing my daughter did was pee all over mine.

MP3 Player
Your going to need something to drown out the relatives when they all come and visit. They will ramble on incessantly about how their friend’s nephew’s father-in-law’s ex-wife’s daughter had this sort of birth with this sort of drugs. Just smile nod your head to the beat of Radiohead. Bring one for the misses as well.

Time Wasters
Perhaps puzzle books or a laptop. Our room had a DVD player in it and if we had known/thought ahead of time we could have been watching cool animes on our crappy TV.

Patience
Just smile and nod. It’ll be over soon enough. Mom’s gonna scream, yell, curse, cringe, moan and complain. If the drugs don’t work you’ll have to deal with this the whole time. If they do work you have to deal with loopy Mom which is almost as bad. Just smile, nod, and persevere.

A Sidecar Mentality
As the father of this baby you have absolutely no rights whatsoever. The doctors and Mom are going to steer this ship and your just along for the ride. You are the passenger and helper. You’ll get ice and water, ask the nurse for small things and hold her hand. You’ll also get asked to leave now and then, you might get pushed to the side and you’ll get odd stares if you ask too many questions.