Wolfenstien Enemy Territory – Anti-Noob Guide

June 9th, 2007 @

For those of you in the dark, Wolfenstein Enemy Territory is a free multi-player online first-person shooter available for Windows, Linux and MacOS X. Just download, install and your on you way. But wait, do you really want to be a newbie? Read on to learn how not to be. Best of all nothing on this list requires any skill except for reading comprehension.

  1. Go completely through the options. You should click every button in the menu with the Play Online button being last.
  2. Be fair, pick the side with less players. When it’s even you get to choose.
  3. Remember your playing with other actual living breathing people. Don’t be silly stupid. Don’t run around killing everything that moves. There is an actual game going on. This is not a free-for-all.
  4. This is not good guys verses bad guys and whoever gets the most kills wins. There is an objective to every map. Try to learn it. If you don’t know what to do, follow others. If the guy you were following gets lost follow another one next time. Learn names and remember who the good ones are. If you really want to learn, go spectator. You can follow every other player, or hit space bar and just fly around. Follow those players you just figured out were good. They know some sneaky cool stuff.
  5. You can pull up that map while playing. You did go through your options didn’t you?
  6. You can click on your gun in the spectator screen to change it. You can click on the 2 beside it to change your second gun. To the left is a map, it’ll look Greek to you for awhile, but look back at it next time around and see if you can’t pick things out. Remember there is an objective.
  7. There are certain weapons that can kill multiple people at a time. Before you know how to use them they are too dangerous to bother with. Don’t be the jackass that just killed your entire team and lost the game. This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  8. There are different classes. Try to learn the basic function of each at the least. Keep the class system in mind as your playing. If there are two medics in an area do they really need a third? Maybe the reason the engineers aren’t getting in is because they don’t have proper support. When you begin to figure out objectives take a look at the limbo menu and see if your team needs something else.
  9. The number keys and scroll wheel change weapons. You should already know that because you went through the options. Learn where and what every weapon for your class is before you fire your first shot. This changes every class.
  10. Don’t block doorways and hallways.
  11. Panzers can be shut off by leaning. Check your options to learn how to lean. This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  12. Don’t go near the front of a motar launching soldier. This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  13. Stay behind Panzer wielding soldiers. This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  14. MG’s (Those big machine guns in tanks and at different spots) are deadly too. Stay out of the way of teammates lying down on the ground with a deployed mobile version.This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  15. Axis wear black clothes, Allies wear brown. Know what team your own and aim for the other color.This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  16. Aren’t machine guns cool? Not only do they fire repeatedly over and over, but they can also fire just a few shots. Don’t pull the trigger unless the enemy is in your cross hairs. Learn how to fire in bursts.This is essential to prevent teamkills!
  17. The compass on the top tells you where your nearby teammates are, what condition their in and other important information. It spins around like crazy because so do your noobish Bambi legs along with everyone else. Stop for a second and figure it out. If your a medic this will tell you exactly where to heal people. As a newbie you can save the day very early on if you are a medic who knows how to read that. Stay behind like a chicken and rescue people as they die. They will beat the level, but it will be because of you.

Have anything to add, feel free to comment.

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